tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207295308265033601.post1395752578091768808..comments2023-03-24T05:57:52.762-07:00Comments on O'Brien Family: Living In A FogCoriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11856791990439329399noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207295308265033601.post-11431572997313641152009-02-19T08:14:00.000-08:002009-02-19T08:14:00.000-08:00Hi Corie. Not sure you'll even get this since thi...Hi Corie. Not sure you'll even get this since this was a January post but I though I'd say "hi" and thank you for the telling of Larsons beautiful story. <BR/><BR/>This post both encourages me, and freaks me out at the same time. I've only been without Josie for almost four months now and definately feel this way. It's so weird. I like to call my new self Helga because I just don't get it/her. But I do like her, some of her....anyway, I too hate the fog. I don't know how to get used to it though if it's here to stay. Another thing on God's list to heal in me, or to at least help me to accept. I know I can't do it.<BR/><BR/>Thanks again for sharing. I am praying for you. XOShannonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14466171009393977243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207295308265033601.post-61418710542952561742009-02-02T11:44:00.000-08:002009-02-02T11:44:00.000-08:00I just wanted to thank you for your post. Just rea...I just wanted to thank you for your post. Just reading what you wrote put words to my feelings. This last week I have felt overwhelmed, anxious and completely unproductive! I couldn't even bother with starting any tasks because the motivation wasn't there and just the thought would overwhelm me. I try to remember that this is just a season in my life. But I completely understand how daunting it is to wonder how long it will last. Praying you on today!etrhodeshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03153170460615072054noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207295308265033601.post-33302504383131927062009-02-01T19:55:00.000-08:002009-02-01T19:55:00.000-08:00Everything you write about is so familiar. Our ti...Everything you write about is so familiar. Our timetable is a little different, and I am perhaps "further down the road," so I'll tell you what I've learned so far. First of all, it's been six years (1/1/2003) since I lost my oldest son, and my youngest son would have turned 5 on 5/3/2004. It was this Thanksgiving (2008) that I woke up to feel like I could actually enjoy Christmas again. I literally woke up one morning and felt ready to decorate and bake and try to make things as festive as they used to be. Now, that's not to say that I really accomplished all of these lofty goals, but something really had changed inside of me. I waited day after day for those old feelings to overtake me, and they just didn't. I did have some tear filled days in January, but even then it was different somehow. I knew that God had allowed me to be a survivor. The fog had just lifted off of me a bit. <BR/><BR/>I don't think I'll be a real happy-go-lucky person ever again, but that part doesn't concern me too much. I think I have grown deeper and am more caring than I used to be, and I thank God for those gifts. You already have those qualities, Corie, and I know you are an inspiration to many. <BR/><BR/>I do think you'll be able to collect your thoughts again and think clearer. My husband and I both talked often about how disconbobulated (sp?) we felt. We both wondered if we would ever remember things clearly and be able to think without a great deal of effort. It really did come back, but it was very gradual and it took a long time. I still have days when I have highly stressed, and the cloudiness and effort to think is a struggle. I have learned to write myself a million notes and reminders.<BR/><BR/>I too used to love to cook, and I prided myself on cooking largely from scratch. Not so anymore. I fix decent meals, but they are much quicker, and I use pre-package items more than not. Cooking a large dinner such as Thanksgiving has become difficult and taxes my thought process greatly. <BR/><BR/>I don't like large groups either, and that part still hasn't changed. The best part of my day is when everyone is in bed and the house is picked up, and I can just think (or not think) alone and quietly for a little while. Selfish? Maybe, but it is my sanity, and I need it very much.<BR/><BR/>I wish I could tell you how long it will take, but I think everyone is on a very personal journey when it comes to grief. My husband had the worst Christmas he has had to date this year, so while I was feeling pretty good about my milestone, he broke down several times in tears. I hate it when I cannot cheer him up. - sigh. Don't be hard on yourself, and keep doing the things you're doing. I'm proud of you for trying to reach out to other people and find normal again. You are doing great. If you ever want to talk with me directly, please feel free to e-mail or even call (I will give you my phone number if you request it.) rl shoemate @ msn.com (no spaces)Lindahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03073851327628902706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207295308265033601.post-81239067901991497382009-02-01T18:18:00.000-08:002009-02-01T18:18:00.000-08:00I have not lost a child but have felt the same fee...I have not lost a child but have felt the same feelings the last 5 years as you are feeling. Ever since my youngest child was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. I have days when I feel normal but then other days I don't. I also used to love to entertain now I avoid it at all cost. I am positive most days and I have faith that my son will live a long life. But still there are days when I just don't think that I deal well with it all. I just get tired and overwhelmed with ll there is to do...his treatments, meds, and three other kids as well. Just know that you are not alone. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. One year is not long....especially with what you have had to deal with. It has been 5 years since my sons diagnosis and I still have my days.Carriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12549243807808084605noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207295308265033601.post-16803812258364297322009-02-01T15:46:00.000-08:002009-02-01T15:46:00.000-08:00not sure how you found me, but it must be a God th...not sure how you found me, but it must be a God thing!! <BR/><BR/>Yes, this is so completely 'normal', the new normal!! it will get easier eventually. you may have read, i lost 2 boys in 5 years. it was so much easier the first time. not sure if it was because of being able to conceive and have another healthy baby soon after or not, but it is just not as easy this 2nd time around. i pray that you will continue to accept and learn from the new normal. Yes it is normal, just not the same normal, but the new normal.<BR/><BR/>so nice to 'meet' you, i'd love to walk this journey with and support you.The Asquadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05320889032389814951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207295308265033601.post-83500954774403916732009-01-31T18:04:00.000-08:002009-01-31T18:04:00.000-08:00CorieI havent lost a child but grieved the loss of...Corie<BR/>I havent lost a child but grieved the loss of children - one particularly close to me which in no way equals your loss or grief right now.<BR/>When i read your post - i wondered have you ever heard of Flylady - im not sure of her management with grief but she has a website about managing chaos and it sounded like she may have some stategies to help not to get overwhlemed - not that you sound like you are in chaos :) but she has simple strategies like doing things 15 minutes at the time. Im not sure if its worth signing up for the numerous emails - I found that overwhelming - but just getting her simple strategies down could help with the little steps which make the bigger steps easier. <BR/><BR/>Just a thought along with hugs going your way<BR/>JOyceJoycehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11103468879639388287noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207295308265033601.post-46364265741774066352009-01-31T07:37:00.000-08:002009-01-31T07:37:00.000-08:00I don't know your full story, but I have had a sof...I don't know your full story, but I have had a soft spot for you and your family since the day I did read your blog. I surely have no answers and wont try to cheer you up. I do read and try to understand you....because I am sure it is just as frustrating as you. <BR/><BR/>The first thing that came to mind is that you said "its been a year, whats wrong with her." Um.... hello... who puts a time limit on a loss of such kind. My aunt lost my cousin many years ago, and still to this day she will sit there and seem as though she is in a fog. She will cry out of no where and or just wake up sometimes and be depressed....other days she seems like the old aunt kay, laughing, life of the party...but never to the full like she use to be. <BR/><BR/>When I have talked with her..... she says that most of the days its a forced choice that she has to make for herself. To get up and go out and live and not walk around half dead and not give her other kids, grandkids (now) and husband the attention and love they deserve. They often felt like they weren't as loved as much as Angel who had died, because Angel consumed so much of her thoughts, emotions, time and energy.... it was sad to see. The stress has also aged my aunt a great deal. She and my mom are closest in age by 14 months or so, but my aunt looks many years older than my mom. A broken heart over a loss child is something that is a HUGE TRAUMA to the mind, heart and soul. I heart knowing that you have this experience and pain in your life. I am thankful you believe and have God to walk with you through this. hang on to that at all cost , it will be your saving grace. <BR/><BR/>Do you keep a journal? I know you are already busy with so much with homework, household stuff and so on and so on..... I have just learned that often writing out your feelings as they come, you can start to look back and see a pattern of yourself and that if you start to better know yourself the NEW you, it will maybe become less foggy. I don't know...its just a thought. But what ever you do.... don't ever feel that you have to stop hurting in any amount of time. There is no rule that you are not allowed to totally get rid of that pain....but I do pray that God helps in the healing and allows it to soften on you so that you can better enjoy your good days you and have more of them...and also better understand and accept the bad days you will always have and be able to embrace them with clear mind.<BR/><BR/>Praying for you<BR/><BR/>God Bless.Misty Ricehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18289401488332917071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7207295308265033601.post-82481927316148436962009-01-31T07:04:00.000-08:002009-01-31T07:04:00.000-08:00Oh Corie, how this resonated with me. I too used ...Oh Corie, how this resonated with me. I too used to be so different...so organized. Now even simple tasks more than overwhelm me...and the grocery store! Forget it! Ugh! My brain hasn't come back yet and I too wonder if it will. Maybe we can work on getting them back together! I love you girl! I so enjoyed talking with you the other night.<BR/><BR/>Praying!<BR/><BR/>KristyKristyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14031799085062048231noreply@blogger.com