October 15th is pregnancy and infant loss awareness day

I have never thought about this before...probably because I never had to. This year is different. As I write this I want those around me to think of others who may have gone through loss either recently or even years ago. I think people may think that because a child died either young, or a while ago that the pain just goes away. It no different then someone with an illness that they didn't ask for. Families who lose children did not ask for this story...yet they are living it. They are survivors...God is so good!

Well as a mother now of a baby that left us far sooner then we had hoped...the pain is still here, and yet I am a survivor. I choose to move forward and enjoy my children each and every day. I choose to think of Larson and talk about him because I love him the same. The pain is different now, it doesn't sting as much, but the reality is...my son is gone and I miss him. I mourn the death of my son and yet I know how very blessed I am to have been "chosen" to carry this precious baby. To give him a name...to give him life...to watch miracles unfold before my eyes...Larson will forever be our baby and for that I feel like one blessed mommy. The pain has been worth it and the change in my life as well. I continue to pray how God will guide me and my family, into the future and how we will be able to use the heartache and joy from this year to help others who may also be feeling a loss of some sort. I continue to step into each day by the Grace of God with hope and perseverance to enjoy what God has given me. At times it is not easy. I have to step forward without someone...but we are going to honor Larsons life by doing this.

I ask you to be aware of those around you. Often it is obvious who is sick, but it is not so obvious to see a persons heartache. The loss of a child is difficult. I hope that through this journey I have been able to express my thoughts and emotions so some of my family and friends can understand this journey. Not everyone will do it the same, some may not ache as long or even hurt the same. Its not up to you to decide what it should look like. Just be there when your friend needs you however that may look without expectations. As a mom whose son is gone...I always enjoy him being acknowledged and hearing his name. He was here if even for a day! He will NEVER be forgotten!

Our Family of 7...for a day!