I am a SAHM with 5 children. My 5th child,Larson, lived for an amazing but short 23 hours. He is now safe in the arms of Jesus enjoying his eternal home. I also have an amazing husband who I have been married to for 10 years!! Praise the Lord.
Please be gentle with me for I am grieving. The sea I swim in is a lonely oneand the shore seems miles away. Waves of despair numb my soulas I struggle through each day. My heart is heavy with sorrow. I want to shout and screamand repeatedly ask 'why?' At times, my grief overwhelms me and I weep bitterly,so great is my loss. Please don’t turn away or tell me to move on with my life. I must embrace my pain before I can begin to heal. Companion me through tears and sit with me in loving silence. Honor where I am in my journey,not where you think I should be. Listen patiently to my story,I may need to tell it over and over again. It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss. Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead. Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable. A small flame still burns within my heart,and shared memories may trigger both laughter and tears. I need your support and understanding.There is no right or wrong way to grieve. I must find my own path. Please, will you walk beside me?
Emma's Poem
Oh Little Larson
Little Larson Oh Little Larson You died a long time ago. Oh how we miss you. You were cute and little. But you struggled deeply. You tried to fight,But it was to hard. And now you are with the Holy One. In Heaven playing with your mates who suffered too. You are perfect now. Oh how we all long to live with you there. Oh little Larson we miss you.
Remembering
Go ahead and mention my child, The one that died, you know. Don't worry about hurting me further. The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry. I'm already crying inside. Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I try to hide. I'm hurt when you just keep silent, Pretending he didn't exist. I'd rather you mention my child, Knowing that he has been missed. You asked me how I was doing. I say "pretty good" or "fine". But healing is something ongoing I feel it will take a lifetime. ~ Elizabeth Dent ~
Who knew 365 days ago that TUESDAY would be a harder day then today? Who knew 365 days ago that I would have a peace TODAY that I can not explain? Who knew 365 days ago that LARSON would not be in my home but his heavenly home? Who knew 365 days ago that we would be walking this story? Who knew 365 days ago how many tears I would shed? Who knew 365 days ago that I would have a marker at a cemetery? Who knew 365 days ago what each day would look like? Who knew 365 days ago that so many would be praying for my family? Who knew 365 days ago who would walk this journey with us? Who knew 365 days ago just where Larsons story would go? Who knew my story before I did?
God knew. God knew 365 days ago. God knew before time my story...His story. My faithful Father in Heaven knew all of this. My God who knew that He would have to sacrifice His one and ONLY Son. My God who put His Son, who had no sin, on the cross to pay for sin. He is the same today as He was Yesterday. And He will be the same tomorrow.
Psalm 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For you are WITH me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
My friend Aimee said it so well in her own blog. The signnificance of this date(October 2nd) is big because its the day we lost Larson. Without a brain, without an amazing miracle we knew what we were headed for. We lost our dream, we lost our plan, we lost our son...but we have not lost hope. We did have 17 more weeks with him but the weight was great. I can only say that IT IS Gods grace that has us where we are today...Still Believing!
I can say today...with confidence and through tears and sorrow and joy...I STILL BELIEVE! Jeremy Camp wrote this song following the death of his wife of less then a year. She died of cancer in her early 20's. They knew before they got married that her cancer was back, he loved her well...he loved her to the end...AND he can stil say he believes in the same God he believed in before this heartache. I love the words!
You are amazing! God bless you and your family this month. I pray that you will continue to feel God's presence, strength and comfort. You are in my prayers each day. Lots of hugs and support.
Corie- Your words are beautiful. I know the pain runs deep, but the light of God's Truth and the hope you have in Him shines through each and every word you wrote. God has woven an amazing testimony through the tapestry of your life.
"But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake, you are blessed....but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear..." 1 Peter 3:14,15
You are living God's words out. May He shower you with His blessings, His peace and His strength.
This blog was created in order to communicate with our family and friends about our journey of grief with our son Larson. Larson was diagnosed on October 2nd, 2007 with HPE alobar. He was born on January 22nd, 2008 and lived for a wonderful 23 hours. I created this blogt to make communicating easier and more efficent following Larsons death. It journals my emotions, hopes, fears and everything in between. Grief is difficult...unpredictable...exhausting and confusing. If you are in a similar situation feel free to email me. I know that the journey can be a bit easier when traveled with a friend who has gone through it also. May Larsons story declare the Lords faithfulness during lifes most trying and darkest times.
Contact information
Would love to hear from you. You can email me at theobs@usa.net
5 comments:
Proud of you today...you made it through 365 long days..all with hope in your heart and eternity on your mind.
What a beautiful post and testimony Corie! You are such a blessing!
Love and Prayers,
Kristy
You are amazing! God bless you and your family this month. I pray that you will continue to feel God's presence, strength and comfort. You are in my prayers each day. Lots of hugs and support.
Blessings,
Kirsten
Corie-
Your words are beautiful. I know the pain runs deep, but the light of God's Truth and the hope you have in Him shines through each and every word you wrote. God has woven an amazing testimony through the tapestry of your life.
"But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake, you are blessed....but sanctify the Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear..." 1 Peter 3:14,15
You are living God's words out. May He shower you with His blessings, His peace and His strength.
I'll be praying for you.
In Christ's love,Stacy
What a testimony! God has been good to us. Praying that this season will be filled with peace in our hearts. ITs tough, believe me, I know.
Post a Comment