I am a SAHM with 5 children. My 5th child,Larson, lived for an amazing but short 23 hours. He is now safe in the arms of Jesus enjoying his eternal home. I also have an amazing husband who I have been married to for 10 years!! Praise the Lord.
Please be gentle with me for I am grieving. The sea I swim in is a lonely oneand the shore seems miles away. Waves of despair numb my soulas I struggle through each day. My heart is heavy with sorrow. I want to shout and screamand repeatedly ask 'why?' At times, my grief overwhelms me and I weep bitterly,so great is my loss. Please don’t turn away or tell me to move on with my life. I must embrace my pain before I can begin to heal. Companion me through tears and sit with me in loving silence. Honor where I am in my journey,not where you think I should be. Listen patiently to my story,I may need to tell it over and over again. It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss. Nurture me through the weeks and months ahead. Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable. A small flame still burns within my heart,and shared memories may trigger both laughter and tears. I need your support and understanding.There is no right or wrong way to grieve. I must find my own path. Please, will you walk beside me?
Emma's Poem
Oh Little Larson
Little Larson Oh Little Larson You died a long time ago. Oh how we miss you. You were cute and little. But you struggled deeply. You tried to fight,But it was to hard. And now you are with the Holy One. In Heaven playing with your mates who suffered too. You are perfect now. Oh how we all long to live with you there. Oh little Larson we miss you.
Remembering
Go ahead and mention my child, The one that died, you know. Don't worry about hurting me further. The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry. I'm already crying inside. Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I try to hide. I'm hurt when you just keep silent, Pretending he didn't exist. I'd rather you mention my child, Knowing that he has been missed. You asked me how I was doing. I say "pretty good" or "fine". But healing is something ongoing I feel it will take a lifetime. ~ Elizabeth Dent ~
Enjoying my family. It was a nice blessing to venture to Vail to enjoy one another this year. Last year we were still able to enjoy Larson although we knew his life would end on this earth soon. This Thanksgiving brought much to ponder, much to be thankful for. As we continue to move forward, by Gods enormous Grace, we have learned that there is much to be thankful for. I pray this year that we continue to cling to Gods promises. Although we never know what tomorrow will bring, I can say that through this year I know God remains.
Of course I continue to wrestle with many thoughts. Thankfully God is so patient. I pray that I will take each day as it comes and not get ahead of myself. I hope to cherish each moment with the children I still have. To keep my thoughts captive and to battle my fears and anxieties. Praying to trust Him more, love Him more, and know Him more.
Hi there! Thank you for the kind words you left on my blog...I started to skim your blog and tears fill my eyes. I know your pain all too well. Oh how my heart aches for our precious little Liberty, just the way yours aches for Larson. I love the blog you wrote from that book you are reading..about dying to our own plans for our lives. That's what it all comes down too - and sadly it does take something that shatters our hearts to get us to 'wake up' to Gods calling, sometimes even then the pain is so terrible that we can't put our eyes on God..that's what I am STILL trying to learn how to do. Thanksgiving day marked 13 months since Libby went home to Jesus - oh how I miss her still. Especially during all the 'glitz and glam' of the holiday season. You have a beautiful family and your words speak truth to my heart. I hope to keep in touch with you..and im so sorry for your loss...but I am thankful that through 'blogland' we can reach out to one another!!
God bless you. My email is momleavingalegacy@yahoo.com if you ever feel like talking...
This blog was created in order to communicate with our family and friends about our journey of grief with our son Larson. Larson was diagnosed on October 2nd, 2007 with HPE alobar. He was born on January 22nd, 2008 and lived for a wonderful 23 hours. I created this blogt to make communicating easier and more efficent following Larsons death. It journals my emotions, hopes, fears and everything in between. Grief is difficult...unpredictable...exhausting and confusing. If you are in a similar situation feel free to email me. I know that the journey can be a bit easier when traveled with a friend who has gone through it also. May Larsons story declare the Lords faithfulness during lifes most trying and darkest times.
Contact information
Would love to hear from you. You can email me at theobs@usa.net
2 comments:
You are beautiful and your family of five is, too. :)
Hi there! Thank you for the kind words you left on my blog...I started to skim your blog and tears fill my eyes. I know your pain all too well. Oh how my heart aches for our precious little Liberty, just the way yours aches for Larson. I love the blog you wrote from that book you are reading..about dying to our own plans for our lives. That's what it all comes down too - and sadly it does take something that shatters our hearts to get us to 'wake up' to Gods calling, sometimes even then the pain is so terrible that we can't put our eyes on God..that's what I am STILL trying to learn how to do. Thanksgiving day marked 13 months since Libby went home to Jesus - oh how I miss her still. Especially during all the 'glitz and glam' of the holiday season.
You have a beautiful family and your words speak truth to my heart. I hope to keep in touch with you..and im so sorry for your loss...but I am thankful that through 'blogland' we can reach out to one another!!
God bless you. My email is momleavingalegacy@yahoo.com if you ever feel like talking...
Kelly Turner
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