A Trip

Steve and I are leaving today to go on our 10th anniversary trip! Actually it is June 27th, but this was the best time. Can't believe it has already been 10 years. I certainly look at our wedding picutes and see a different person. I know this probably sounds so weird. Honestly though I was full of excitement, not knowing what was ahead of me during my life with Steve. We have been blessed with 5 wonderful children. Blessed to watch 4 grow to the ages of 8, 6,5 and 3. Blessed to have been able to be a part of a little boys life for 23 hours.

When we were married our "plan" was to have lots of children. I am not sure exactly what we thought as far as many, but the both of us love children. Steve grew up in a family of 6 children. I was a 2nd grade teacher. We just enjoyed children. I got pregnant with my first child just 10 months after I got married, and that is where the "pattern" begin. I was pregnant every 10 months after that with each child. The first of my children are all 19 months apart. Well having 4 children in 5 years was busy so we took a "brake".

In August of 2006 I found out I was pregnant again much to our excitement. At a routine exam, we found out we had lost that baby. I had another miscarriage in November of 2007. We were heartbroken. Looking back now, I am thankful that those babies went straight to see the Lord and that I did not have so much information about the "whys" and "what ifs"

In May of 2007 I found out I was pregnant again. Our family was looking forward to another addition to our family. Our "dreams" were dashed in October when we found out about Larsons fatal condition. The four months following were very difficult. So many questions, fears and anxieties. Although my journey following Christ began 12 years ago, the depth of understanding was beginning. My heart ached to know more and more about the Saviour who died on the cross for my sin. I can say that although this has been the most difficult part of the journey, God has taught me much. The pain has not been without MUCH worth!

-While having my other children, I can say I would say that they were blessing from the Lord, NOW I know what that means. After learning about so many medical things (probably to much) It is TRULY a miracle to have a baby without any medical issues. Yet because Larson had so many didn't make him less of a miracle. He has taught our family SO much more than I could have imagined. He is still a perfect miracle in Gods PERFECT plan.
-I have know felt the "peace that surpasses all understanding". In the midst of knowing that I would be having a child only to release him back to the Lord, GOD gave me this peace. So thankful to have felt something so sacred.
-As much as I have had a plan...its never been mine to begin with..."man plans his ways, BUT THE LORD DIRECTS HIS PATH" Wow is that ever true. All my children I planned... well I realized that was foolish to have a plan or even think it was mine. Gods ways are far better. It hurts sometimes, but we learn far more through Him as our teacher, if we are just willing to listen.
-God has blessed my husband and I in our marriage. It is by His grace alone that we made it to 10 years. Yes we are part of this marriage and we don't just sit and stare at one another hoping to get through the years. But God has given us a standard to live by in our home. He has changed our hearts 12 and 15 years ago to "take up His cross and follow Him" and so this is the standard in our marriage...that we would honor Him. Yes we have weaknesses and times we have to work on things. BUT He has guided us with His Mighty Hand.
-God has shown me much during my 10 years with Steve. He has shown me my weakness, my strengths, my sins, "my plans", my blessings,my daily need for Him.
-God has revealed MUCH about Himself...His Grace, His Love, His strength, His kindness, His plans, His word.

Lord willing I will have 10 more years with my husband on this path. Larson has taught me that we don't know what will happen today, tomorrow or the next, but one thing is for sure and that is...Jesus will be there, if we cling to Him, at the end of our path. What a glorious day that will be to see Him sitting on His Throne as I enter the Heavens. Until then, BY GODS GRACE, I will press on in this journey.

Please pray for our time, our travels and our children. We have never left our children for this long or being this far. I know they are in Gods hands, but please pray that I can relax while away and TRUST.