Monday, July 27, 2009

Asking for Prayers

I just received a call from a friend last night asking for prayer for a dear family. So I am coming to you faithful readers and prayer warriors this morning.

On Friday the family she was calling about....well call them the V's, God know them....were on a lake water skiing. On their way back to shore they hit some rough wakes and their 11 year old daughter flew out of the boat and died. Please be praying for this family. For those who have lost a loved one..their is many areas that are stretched and pulled. Your faith is very much tested. This was a "freak" accident and yet there will be so many questions. We can trust the Lord and still wonder why these things happen. This family will be changed forever and July 24th will be a day that marks that!

Dear Father...
I pray for the V family. That you would protect them and their hearts. That you would protect their marriage and their family. know the details and you know their needs. We know you are in control of all things and yet this seems unfathomable. Another "accident" yet you never left them and you wont. Be with them in these days and the days to come. They will be dark...they will be hard!

Thank you heart is breaking for this family. I know prayers work....A peace is there that otherwise is not.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Having Hope...and a prayer request!

It seems hope is a theme so many of study and want. Last week in church the communion service was on hope. It was EXACTLY what I needed. We all hope is things. Hope for the future..hope for healing...hope for love....hope for health. We hope because we have not yet seen it happen.

I no longer hope for a husband...I have a great one. I no longer hope for kids...I have 5! I no longer hope for healing here on earth for answer was given on January 22 of 2008 that my hope for healing would be granted but not here. So the list goes on. I continue to hope for things... but I feel I have a little bit of a pessimistic edge. I am afraid to hope...because what if that is not the answer I will get. Should I just resigned to the fact that the answer has already been determined. That God knows the answer or should I still hope.

I have spent some time in the sci pures looking at hope alone. There is SOO much there and many answers for my questions are given.

For I hope in You, O LORD; You will answer, O Lord my God. Psalm 38:15
Yes! I hope and He will give HIS answer. May I be content with it?

Through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. Romans 5:2
I hope in the eternal kingdom. For this earth is passing away. All my tears will be wiped...the pain gone and hope answered!

And hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:5
I will hope in Gods love for me and remember the gift He has given through His Son. That although it may not be what I is still good!

Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Cor 13:7
I will still hope in all things...just still searching!

But since we are of the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet, the hope of salvation. 1 Thess 5:8
I will hope in my salvation

Now she who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone, has fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day. 1 Tim 5:5
In all the loneliness I will remember and hope IN THE LORD

And a few more....
Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to fix their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. 1 Tim 6:17

in the hope of eternal life, which God, who cannot lie, promised long ages ago, Titus 1:2

Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Heb 11:1

So with these thoughts on hope...
Right now I am HOPING for healing and pain relief with my back. My MRI results showed 2 bulging discs and a disc tear. The pain is constant and intense. I am struggling with pain management. I want to enjoy my kids and though I am...I can't do as much as I had HOPED!! I am going in on Wednesday at 10am for a cortisone shot in my spine by the disc problems. I would be so grateful for prayers if you feel led...Please pray for...
1...the shot would work and give some relief, immediate relief and relief for awhile
2..through other therapies the discs would heal themselves. I am looking into a therapy that a chiropractor has here in town. I have heard by the doctor that it is not likely for the discs to go back in place but not I will Hope. side effects from the cortisone shot....spinal headache/more pain/ ANY SIDE EFFECT!
and whatever else you can think of...
Yes...I am still going to HOPE for healing with my back. With Larson...the Lords desire was not to heal. We ask for the Lord to take the cup from us or let thy will be down. Well...the Lords will was not to heal. But I believe we can still Hope...its what we do when what we hope is not what we get.

Thank you friends!

Monday, July 6, 2009

String of Pearls Run

Many of you have already seen this foundations...but Id like to take this opportunity to talk about it myself. Laura...the founder...has become one of my treasured friends. We met when I found out that Larson would not make it. Lauras daughter Pearl has the same diagnosis as Larson, but aside from that, we are both Colorado natives and have many things and friends in common aside from our brave children!

Lauras friendship AND her medical knowledge helped me and my family more then I could have ever expected. Meeting her was definitely orchestrated by our Heavenly Father and so was her ability to help. It is no mistake that Laura was trained not only as a nurse, but a Labor and Delivery nurse LONG before she new of the story it would create in her own life with her brave daughter Pearl. Instead of tucking away her gift and her training...she has faithfully been using it to help many other families in the same situation we were in....walking the journey of carry your baby to term who has a fatal diagnosis.

On July 25th...if you are in the Denver area (or want to fly in!!!) I would love to invite you to join others in supporting this amazing and well needed ministry. The following is a letter from Laura that I emailed to friends in town, but would love to have you read it as well. Thanks for your support to this wonderful ministry.

Friends, Family and Patients,

On July 25, 2009 we will be hosting a 5K Run/Walk event in Parker, Colorado to benefit String of Pearls, a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization providing perinatal hospice support to families who are struggling with the devastating reality of a fatal diagnosis for their unborn baby. String of Pearls is based right here in the Denver Metro-Area where their tangible and emotional support is available to families both locally and across our country without any cost. Their services include the crafting of unique birth plans, coordination with other professional support, liason between the family and the birthing staff, and precious memory making kits. This is a great nonprofit organization and we should all come out to show our support. Look for them on the internet at

The event will be held at Stroh Ranch Park which is approximately 1/2 mile west on Stroh Road from Parker Road (Rt. 83). The event will begin at 9:00 AM and race day registration will begin at 7:30 AM. Throughout the day, local businesses will be providing information about their new products and services, there will be many kid's events, and there will be activity demonstrations throughout the day, including a quick start tennis program, martial arts and others!

At 11:00 AM there will be a drawing for prizes and all registered participants will be eligible to win. There will also be an opportunity to pre-purchase additional tickets prior to the drawing to increase your odds of winning. Prizes include a one night stay at the Hampton Inn of Parker King Suite, four rounds of golf a Black Bear Golf Club, custom made foot-insoles and many more great prizes.

Registration is easy! Please open and print off the attached registry form and return it to us as soon as possible. Help us make this inaugural event a success by participating and telling everyone you know! Let's start the first year off great and set the tone for many more years to come!

If you have any questions, please give us a call or email us. Thanks for all your support!

Dr. Matthew Derry
Dr. Tanja Sukovic Derry
Back to Wellness, L.L.C.
(720) 851-7400
12919 Stroh Ranch Court
Unit B
Parker, CO 80134 <>

Laura Huene
Executive Director
String of Pearls
PO Box 630454
Littleton, Co 80163

Thursday, July 2, 2009


Happy 11th Anniversary...heres to many more!!!

Id like to think that my faith is strong. I am not wanting to say it is weak for sure...but in this season of my life I can definitely say it has been tested, tried, refined and questioned.

Steve and I just celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. A feat I can definitely say I am so very grateful for. A milestone i can say was not achieved on our own. Then who possibly got us here? What got us here? Yep...our faith! But faith in what?

Just last week I commented to Steve that the last 3 years have been some of the hardest. It is almost 3 years ago that our journey of loss began. Sure we have lost...great grandparents,aunts and uncles....Steve has more then I, but for Steve and I personally, it hit harder beginning in 2006. That is when our first baby was gone. We went in for our check up...and no heartbeat. Shock? yes! Sadness? yes...But I didn't feel complete despair. I had heard of early loss. I knew it was not completely uncommon.

So we continued on...hoping for the baby after our loss. Another O'Brien to raise. Another sibling for our children. Well...loss again. Another heartbeat gone to soon. We decided to try again. Yes...we had hope...we had faith that it would not end this way...or did we. I have been told that if I had more faith I would not have c-sections? So...if I had more faith...would my babies die? I'm not trying to be cynical...just questioning the advice of some!!

Did we have faith that God was in control of ALL things? What we mustard up as our story...or did we have faith that the story to come had already been written by the Creator who had already written the story this far? Is our faith in our faith....or is our faith in God?

Can I have enough faith to change the story God has written to a story I want? Can my faith change the outcome? Do I believe that God has written the story and will get me through ANYTHING...whether I see it as good or bad...! My faith Has to be in God...not myself...or my life would not turn out the way it has. I would be a superhero and change that for sure....but I definitely wouldn't be who I am today.

Well...I can say looking back..I had faith. I had faith that things would work out. But my faith was in the story and how I WANTED it to look. Others around me had lost a child early in their pregnancy and ALL yes ALL had s HEALTHY baby after. So certainly I would have that "rainbow baby" as well. Or would I?

So this is where I am at. My faith for sure has been tested. And faith is being refined and redefined. No longer am I putting my faith in a story I have created, but I can not tell you it has been easy to put my faith in the story already written, but not yet seen. I trust in a God who has providentially given me life. Who has made me a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter. I have seen His hand in my life...but can I see His had in the dark times as well?

I am really speaking out loud in this blog the thing I have been pondering in my mind. I guess really being vulnerable and sharing things that I have wrestled with during the last few years.

The questions were few at the beginning, but have grown as our season continued down the road of loss. Now wondering which direction we are headed.

Currently I am enjoying my children...but still a piece of me continues to miss the toddler not here. I have been experiencing a GREAT deal of pain in my back and have been in physical therapy for 3 months now. I am going for an MRI and hoping for more clarity as to the direction of my pain management. It could be anything from a bulging a ruptured disc. I have pain constantly in my back radiating down my legs and into my calves. I don't share this for sympathy or for advice, but because it seems to be another hurdle for me. Can I trust Gods decision to take me down this path that has been hard...but bearable, often dark...but I know He is there. The pain is often frustrating and making it hard to enjoy normal daily activities. I love working out, but have not been able to for the last 3 months. I can't rely on that for my sanity...although I did. So once again I am back to trusting God in this story...or wanting to!

I have felt somewhat down at times...just wanting some relief, but seeking what that relief is. Is is from the pain of this world? I know we are all meant to suffer and by no means to I believe my story is terrible suffering. I have seen many suffer more. But I have also seen many rejoice in the hope and faith of new children and new beginnings. I am wondering what mine will be. I know it will be my own story. Written specifically for me. Hoping for something great...wondering what that is. And is great my idea of great or the great that God has decided will be great for me.

Do I trust in my own a story I have written? Or is my faith in a God who is far bigger and better and more in control then I could ever imagine myself to be? I know I trust God...I want to trust Him more...I want to have Faith in HIM more...I want to rest in Him more.

Praying for more faith!!!