Friday, November 27, 2009

Seeing Gods Hand.....

Not long after having Larson I received this poem from a Godly women who is about 60 years old...her mother had lost 4 it is....

The Weaver

My life is but a weaving
Between my Lord and me,
I cannot choose the colors
He worketh steadily.

Ofttimes He weaveth sorrow,
And I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper
And I, the underside.

Not 'til the loom is silent,
And the shuttles cease to fly,
Shall God unroll the Canvas
And explain the reason why.

The dark threads are as needful
In the weavers skillful hand,
As the threads of gold and silver
In the pattern He has planned.

So here is my story that I feel the Lord has blessed me to see some of the weaving...Bear with me, it may be long. I hope I can explain it well. It is one of hope!

About 12 years ago I was teaching 2nd grade. During this time one of my students came into class with a picture he was sooo proud of. This was no ordinary picture. It was a picture of his sweet baby sister Cassidy. Cassidy was born with spina bifida. Was born early and many surgeries ahead of her. Her parents were given a grim picture, and much to my young ignorance or lack of life experience I really had NO idea what they were venturing into....

Fast forward 10 years later....In October of 2007 we found out about Larson. My ignorance changed. Life had taken a major turn. Now it was my baby with a fatal diagnosis. Not someone elses story anymore. Now I was living a life far different then I had expected. Like many moms with this...or maybe not...I started researching. I came across the It has stories of all different diagnoses. In my obsession...I hate to admit I read MANY of them. I came across one in pitucular. It seemed so familiar. It was! It was the story of baby Cassidy. Thats right..It was the story of the little girl ten years before. I though of her I had NO idea back then her pain could be so intense...her questions...her thoughts. And know...I could relate more. Not completely...but more!!
Here is Cassidy's

Cassidy was being used in my life....and yet, the story continues....!

A year after Larson passed away I had the opportunity to share his story with a bible study here in town. I was nervous but thankful to be used how God wanted me to! And who was there...Yep! Cassidys mommy. I hadn't seen her in 11 years. She cried with me and suddenly this mom was someone who I could connect with in a mighty way....this was God.

Ok...but that's not it! Fast forward one more year. I reieve a call form my aunt. Her daughters baby...Evan...had been diagnosed with Spina Bifida. I immediately thought of Cassidys mommy but had NO way of getting a hold of her.

The next week...I kid you not!...I ran into her at park. I have gone to this park with my kids MANY times and NEVER ran into her. The last time I had seen her was at the bible study and before that about 7 years before when she showed up at my church for a visit. She never came back...she was attending another church in town. And before that, I had seen her around the time Cassidy was born...

So back to the park.

I ran into her at the park...Cassidy was with her and I approached her and told her about my cousins baby. So the two of them have been connected ever since. this is a long story, but really its amazing to think that 12 years ago Cassidy's mom had NO idea how she would be used. I hope that she is so encouraged to see that Cassidy is being used 12 years later through a teacher that her son had. 12 years is a long time. I certeinly want to see what my son has done quicker. Now I know Cassidy has been used more then this, but I feel God has shown me that He is faithful...Things do work out for good. This story makes me amazed and THANKFUL.

While still sometimes feeling like Im in a valley...feeling like there is nothing new in my life. That there are things I have hoped for and desired...things that God has not desired to give. I find myself still missing Larson and dealing with chronic back pain. I sometimes wonder what is next. I am reminded by this story that God knows. What happens next in my life may not be what I hope for or maybe think I deserve...want...or expect! But I can trust that The Weaver is painting a PERFECT picture that I will be blessed to discover someday. Maybe not until eternity...but His hand will not stop and the painting will not be half done....

What often doesn't seem!

And now...Id like to show you a picture of sweet baby Evan. The one you have prayed for...a little guy that has only begun to change lives....


Sara said...

Beautiful story Corie... thank you so much for sharing that... I needed to hear it today. Corie I think of you often... knowing it is almost Christmas and then January and Larson's 2nd birthday with Jesus. Can you believe our kids are there with Him, praising HIM for eternity. I can't wait to join them. Know I am praying for you friend... so thankful for you reaching out to me last year. I am also praying for your back... I just pray God will heal it or make it more bearable. I know His will, will be done. Trusting in the master weaver:) with you!

Melanie said...

HI Corie, I sent you an email regarding the comment you left on my blog.
First of all, many blessings to you and your family for the journey and loss you have endured. Thank you for being open and authentic about your story! What a beautiful boy Larson was and I look forward to meeting him in Heaven someday!
Secondly, LOVE the way our awesome God works! In our experience with Rachel, we have been amazing at the ways God has gone before us.
Thirdly, what a sweet little boy, that Evan is! He looks pretty good. I would LOVE to email/ talk to your cousin! Rachel has had displaced hips (wore/ still wears a hip brace). And though she doesn't officially have club feet, she has some of the characteristics and wears AFO's. She also has a shunt, but, PRAISE GOD! has not had a problem.
Blessings to all of you! MELANIE

boltefamily said...

What a beautiful story! Praying for you and your sweet family!

Resource Planning said...

What more can be said, except simply Thank You.

Emily said...

Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.

The Beidle Family said...

wow I have chills......That is really an amazing story....and so clear that God's hand was in it from the beginning.

Look at that sweet little boy. We are still praying for him as his road is going to be long but he seems like such a trooper. What a precious blessing.

It is going to be amazing to see how God is using and will use Larson's life....things we don't even know.....

Love you friend.

Cheryl Veenstra said...


Sometime before Christmas, Lisa sent me a link to this journal update on your blog...and you can imagine how touched I was and the tears started flowing! I meant to write you then, but the busy-ness of life was overwhelming me and my arm was in a cast. Now, it's another month later, and I felt compelled to check your blog for an update and I'm in tears again!!

I praise God for the way He orchestrated our paths to cross so many times in the last 12 years. Back then, both you and I were younger, naive and wore those 'rose colored glasses' in regard to our future. Tough things happened to other people...we had no reason to believe they would touch us.

It is comforting to know that the 'front side' of the tapestry of our lives is beautiful and makes sense...often, we forget that when we focus on the 'back side' that is messy, full of knots and makes NO sense at all!!

It's been a tough few months around our household...w/ Cassidy's medical issues, the car accident she and I were involved in, my injuries and her big surgery and hospital stay this month. I have had many moments of discouragement, exhaustion and being overwhelmed. But your blog this evening reminded me that there are things going on behind the scenes that we are unaware of. There is a purpose to our suffering and God IS ABLE to bring good, out of the bad that happens in our lives.

Thank you for that reminder. Your family is beautiful, your wisdom is priceless and I look forward to keeping in touch with you for many years to come!! And watching your cousin Lisa's sweet Evan grow and blossom!

Hugs dear,
Cheryl Veenstra (Josh and Cassidy's mom)