Psalm 139

Psalm 139:13
For You formed my inward parts;
You covered me in my mother's womb.
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Marvelous are Your works,
And that my soul knows very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them


I will NEVER forget October 2nd. Yes a day that will be forever etched into my mind! The day we found out that our son was "not perfect." As the last months have slowly gone by I waited for our son to be born. Constantly wondering what he would look like. I always had this question in the back of my mind with my other children. The difference was that our other children did not have a fatal diagnosis. They had their entire brain and all there genes where were they should be. When Larson arrived on January 22nd (another day I will NEVER forget) I was amazed to see my PERFECT little boy. From the black hair like his siblings, to his sweet face all the way down to his toes. Yes our son had 10 fingers and 8 toes. We always say as parents that when our children come out we count 10 fingers and 10 toes. Well it was different with Larson and I am so glad. Larson was formed perfectly by the same God who formed my other children and God did not make a mistake with Larson. I bonded to Larson while he was in my womb just as I did my other children. Every kick and movement. He moved so much more than my other children most likely because he was missing his brain. I would like to think he moved more because he had so much life to live in such a short amount of time. His short life blessed me more than I could have ever imagined. He was AMAZING!!

I miss Larson so much. Today we went to visit the cemetary with our children. It is quite surreal to be visiting one of your children at the cemetary, but this is our life now. We continue to take things day by day, realizing that we can not "plan" our lives. If I could contol my life then it would definitly not be like it is right now. I am thankful to take comfort in knowing that that God does not make mistakes and am reminded of this in Isaiah 55:8-9
"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways," says the Lord.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.

We serve a good God and I know we will get through this time by His Grace, Love and Mercy. Please continue to pray for us.