Don't they know???

I wish there was some way to prepare for the passing of your child. There is just no way to do so. I wish I could have time to sit and reflect on what is going on. To just mourn and grieve for my baby, but it doesn't take long (maybe a week) before you are reminded that this is not going to be easy or "normal". Today a person called to talk to me about my "newborn" son Larson. She was from the specialist office and there was a bill she was calling about. Ok I know this lady had no way of knowing that Larson was not here anymore and I know she felt bad. I sure wish there could have been some note some how in my file so neither of us had to feel bad. There are so many things that I could not prepare for while grieving my loss...
-The hospital bills.
-The death certificate to show he is gone.
-Bills for a funeral
-The birth certificate with a stamp on it saying he is gone.
-Letter from the cemetary to tell me when they "clean up stuff".
-Visting my son weekly at his gravesite.
-Getting formula amples in the mail.
-Getting the pamplets to tell you the milestones of"what your child should be doing know"
-Preparing for holidays without Larson.
-Taking down the crib he would have slept in.
-Listening to my children talk about their brother who has died.
These are all harsh realities of death and its finality. I know we will all face it someday. I just never though I would be burying my child! So how am I doing? Each day I meditate on God word and am reminded that is safe. I take comfort in knowing that God is in control. I know that God is my Comforter and knows my every emotion. I miss my son. He would probably be starting to smile at us know, but instead he is with the Lord. I know he doesn't miss us. He is in the best place he could be! But we miss him and will until we are reunited.
If you are reading this...Thank you!
Thank you for listening. Thank you for reading my blog. Thank you for trying to understand even if you don't know what to say. Thank you for sticking by us during this difficult time. Thank you for being patient with me. Thank you for being our friends. IT MEANS SO MUCH TO ME!