Whats behind a smile?

I have to say the last few months have changed not only who I am but also the way I look at things. Lets hope so! It is easy to see someone that you know or don't know and "assume" everything is good because they say they are fine or because they smile. I have realized myself that it is sometimes easier to tell people.."I am doing fine" and give them a smile even though deep down inside I have never hurt so deeply. I do smile more often now and it is good, but that doesn't mean that I don't think of Larson often or that I somehow have moved on. I have realize that some people are rather uncomfortable with pain, grief and sadness. It is much easier to be around people who are happy and cheerful. Please dont feel uncomfortable by my tears or sadness or pain. It is nothing you sad and nothing you did. Sometime I just don't feel like smiling. I can't say how long I will be sad. I know I will always miss my son and that I never want to forget. We will always be a family of 7. God chose us to have Larson as our son and he will always be that to me. I know that the pain will change, but our family will always have a little piece missing. It is such a comfort to know that Larson is safe with Jesus, but I also know God knows our pain and emptiness.
I do have to say that I am SOOOO grateful for so many family and friends who have walked with my family to patiently through this trial. I have to say thank you again for...
*Listening. Its easy to ask.."how are you?" Its another thing to listen to the answer without feeling like you have to fix it.
*Crying with me. It is such a blessing to have a friend who is willing to cry with me and share their emotions.
*Mentioning Larson's name. I will never get tired of talking about my son. Most have a lifetime to watch their children grow up before their eyes. I had 1 day. Please don't forget him.
*Patience. For understanding that we will not be the same but for loving us for who we are now.
Again thanks for checking this blog. I love all the encouraging comments and emails.
Thank you for being our friends and walking so kindly and gently with us during this difficult season. God has been so good to our family during this time. We continue to lean on Christ for our daily strength and are comforted by his promises that we will one day be reunited with Larson again.

Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endureance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of OUR faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
Hebrews 12:1-2